*This isn't a dating story per se, it's more of an example of the random shit that happens to me on a daily basis in San Francisco.*
Courage is very underrated - there's a reason why public speaking is the number one fear in America (yes, over death)! I can speak in front of crowds at weddings and funerals and yet, have trouble asking someone out for coffee. But sometimes opportunities present themselves in places you wouldn't expect.
One Saturday outside a coffee house in a neighborhood that I am only vaguely familiar with. I was staring out the window listening to some New Order (Yeah!) when I noticed an attractive guy with glasses staring back at me. I smiled and (I thought) he smiled back. Now, I'm used to seeing crackheads:
One Saturday outside a coffee house in a neighborhood that I am only vaguely familiar with. I was staring out the window listening to some New Order (Yeah!) when I noticed an attractive guy with glasses staring back at me. I smiled and (I thought) he smiled back. Now, I'm used to seeing crackheads:
Not just in the Tenderloin anymore bitches!
so when when someone scratches their neck or gives me the shifty eyed-spastic facial muscles look I don't think much of it anymore. Although I was slightly surprised when my cute guy outside started displaying crack-headesque tendencies. Bummer, I hate when the cute ones are crazy. I began zoning out again when I heard someone yell, "call 911, this guy is having a seizure!" I assume this is coming from inside the store when everyone else was glued to the action outside. I turned back around to see cute guy convulsing on the ground and no one trying to help him. Wholly shit! I ran outside in an attempt.....an attempt to do what? I didn't know what to do! I couldn't MacGyver the situation (that's right, another MacGyver reference); I know that you aren't supposed to touch these people (even though the closer I got the more I noticed he smelled nice...oh I'm sick). Luckily (and not surprisingly) there were 5 different doctors around (figures, damn Lower Pac Heights. Why was I here again?) and the ambulance that finally made an appearance.
Along with the preppy looky loos (seriously I looked like the turd in the punchbowl filled with J. Crew shorts and Marc Jacobs handbags), I watched the now calm form of the man being loaded into the back of the ambulance. Because I know it sucks when you lose your glasses, I picked his up off the ground and gave them to the EMT. He was still staring directly at me (I'm not sure how much of that was involuntary facial muscle freeze) and I stared right back. I must have looked like a lunatic - the only smiling face among a sea of worried faces. It may be the lack of class, excess of ballsy tendencies or for humor but I found myself saying to him: "hey, wanna grab coffee sometime when you're not in the back of an ambulance?" With a slightly dazed smiling face he nodded an enthusiastic yes and drowsily said, "get my number from the EMT. Hey, yur pretttyyyyyyy". I heard him slur as the ambulance door closed. I looked up at the EMT with a hopeful smile. He quickly said "you know I can't give you that number right? He's at (Redacted) hospital if you want to come see him". I thought about it but realized I was just too lazy. Besides, when he isn't having seizures (and even when he is come to think of it)*, I know which coffee shop he goes to. I'll definitely be back....
*I need to apologize for excessive parenthetical references. It's a bad habit I picked up in college that I'm trying to break.
Along with the preppy looky loos (seriously I looked like the turd in the punchbowl filled with J. Crew shorts and Marc Jacobs handbags), I watched the now calm form of the man being loaded into the back of the ambulance. Because I know it sucks when you lose your glasses, I picked his up off the ground and gave them to the EMT. He was still staring directly at me (I'm not sure how much of that was involuntary facial muscle freeze) and I stared right back. I must have looked like a lunatic - the only smiling face among a sea of worried faces. It may be the lack of class, excess of ballsy tendencies or for humor but I found myself saying to him: "hey, wanna grab coffee sometime when you're not in the back of an ambulance?" With a slightly dazed smiling face he nodded an enthusiastic yes and drowsily said, "get my number from the EMT. Hey, yur pretttyyyyyyy". I heard him slur as the ambulance door closed. I looked up at the EMT with a hopeful smile. He quickly said "you know I can't give you that number right? He's at (Redacted) hospital if you want to come see him". I thought about it but realized I was just too lazy. Besides, when he isn't having seizures (and even when he is come to think of it)*, I know which coffee shop he goes to. I'll definitely be back....
*I need to apologize for excessive parenthetical references. It's a bad habit I picked up in college that I'm trying to break.
I like the parenthetical references! It offers context to those who otherwise might not know :)
ReplyDelete...I just wanted to use parenthetical in a sentence cuz I am S-M-R-T!
ReplyDelete