Today's post is a rant or rather, a way for our heroine to address an issue that even she is guilty of. I will stand on the rooftops yelling about how amazing my male friends are until some smart-ass woman will jump down my throat and ask, "well why don't YOU date them"?
Very well bitch woman who asks good questions, it's because I, Der Commander suffer from "Right Guy" syndrome. This is a plague that some women go through. Regardless of a woman's looks, wealth, social status, if all signs don't point to "yes" with any male you're even slightly interested in, you're kicking rocks. The *right* guys - what in the hell does that mean exactly? Every single day, we women are passed by the right guys - they're our friends, neighbors, baristas. And yet, when we think about them in any kind of romantic sense, our internal plumbing goes on strike. I have so many male friends who are harboring crushes on women who have shoved them firmly into "The Friend Zone". It is heartbreaking in a way and I am completely guilty of this. These are our friends, men of character that we know and care about. We know they would make wonderful boyfriends/husbands for ANOTHER woman.
This is touchy topic because like snowflakes, we are all different up close and exactly the same from far away - we want the very best for us but so few of us know exactly what that is. I was having a great conversation the other day regarding arranged marriages. My friend said something that has stuck with me; "How simple a marriage would be when you could grow into love with someone over time". I was quick to jump down his throat but maybe I shouldn't have been. I don't believe you can force love but I do believe that love can grow over time. However, that only works if you can overlook character flaws or find the person even slightly attractive. Besides, the thought of my dad picking someone for me to marry makes me cringe quite a bit.
I have had my fair share of friends who've had crushes on me and it's awkward for everyone involved. In spite of my wide open badassness, I generally try to avoid conflict with my people. Seriously, who wants to have this conversation? It's one of the few situations where the horrible line "It's not you, it's me" is a valid one. Hell, I've even been on the other side and it's one of those things you can't really do anything about. These people are your friends for a reason. You know they're awesome, you also know they will drive you insane if you have to spend everyday with them. It's one of the many things that makes life not fair.
No one knows what attraction really is - how to define it, how to make it relevant to you. Believe me, if I could love the actual "right guys", I would. There is no cure for this syndrome. I will never advise anyone to settle or give up their standards. By that right, I will also not listen to you bitch and complain about the lack of available men and why you're alone (oops, I probably owe the Professor some wine. Sorry for bitching Home Skillit). So to take my own advice, I'm trying to be more open minded. Trying to date outside of my "type" and be available and open at all times. It's a struggle but for experimental purposes, it's the chance I take. I have always said, I would rather be alone than to have to wake up at 50 and realize I hate the man next to me....senior singles cruise, here I come!
And she will probably look like this....
This is touchy topic because like snowflakes, we are all different up close and exactly the same from far away - we want the very best for us but so few of us know exactly what that is. I was having a great conversation the other day regarding arranged marriages. My friend said something that has stuck with me; "How simple a marriage would be when you could grow into love with someone over time". I was quick to jump down his throat but maybe I shouldn't have been. I don't believe you can force love but I do believe that love can grow over time. However, that only works if you can overlook character flaws or find the person even slightly attractive. Besides, the thought of my dad picking someone for me to marry makes me cringe quite a bit.
I don't think so Dad...I know you liked Joe Dirt but not this damn much!
I have had my fair share of friends who've had crushes on me and it's awkward for everyone involved. In spite of my wide open badassness, I generally try to avoid conflict with my people. Seriously, who wants to have this conversation? It's one of the few situations where the horrible line "It's not you, it's me" is a valid one. Hell, I've even been on the other side and it's one of those things you can't really do anything about. These people are your friends for a reason. You know they're awesome, you also know they will drive you insane if you have to spend everyday with them. It's one of the many things that makes life not fair.
No one knows what attraction really is - how to define it, how to make it relevant to you. Believe me, if I could love the actual "right guys", I would. There is no cure for this syndrome. I will never advise anyone to settle or give up their standards. By that right, I will also not listen to you bitch and complain about the lack of available men and why you're alone (oops, I probably owe the Professor some wine. Sorry for bitching Home Skillit). So to take my own advice, I'm trying to be more open minded. Trying to date outside of my "type" and be available and open at all times. It's a struggle but for experimental purposes, it's the chance I take. I have always said, I would rather be alone than to have to wake up at 50 and realize I hate the man next to me....senior singles cruise, here I come!
I'll bring the Bingo dabbers!
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