There are times where you know you're meeting someone you aren't ready for. This is one of those times...
The accidental IT guy was very sweet, sarcastic and cute. A little older than I am and very secure in himself. I enjoyed our email contact immediately. He seemed genuine and actually read my profile (and responded to emails in good time). I was actually excited to go out with him. I suggested a walk along the Embarcadero.
I told him to meet me in front of the Ferry Building and that he'd know me because I was wearing a red scarf. Kinda corny but I have been known for that at times (I mean fuck, I listen to Hall & Oates and like A Christmas Story. We all have our cheese ball moments). However, what I thought was cheeky and old skool turned out to be a fail - five different women with red scarves were hovering outside the building. Damnit, I've gotta get rid of these bitches. I had to think fast, so I pulled out my cell phone and ripped off an idea from my friend Funny Guy. "Oh shit no! Did he beat you girllllllll? Do I gotta get my homies to fuck him up?!?" I yell into my phone while doing my best ghetto voice. The red-scarf, Tory Birch wearing ladies high-tailed it the hell out of there, possibly afraid that a low-riding Cadillac with A Pimp Named Slickback will pull up at any time.
I casually put my phone away and continued looking for my date who appeared right in front of me with a smirk. "Was I interrupting something?" he said with look of both amusement and alarm on his face. Shit! Busted. I tried to recover, "no, it's just a way to make pigeons disappear. I wasn't the only one in a red scarf and I had to think fast" I blurted out. Luckily he found this funny and we started our walk.
Even though San Francisco can be beautiful in February, it can also be windy as hell and cold. We learned that the hard way as the soon realized the wind was having none of our walking idea. We quickly ducked into Pier 23 Cafe to grab a drink. The conversation flowed effortlessly and we talked intellectually which is something I don't get to do very often. For once, I wasn't acting like a party-wary college kid or a 15 year-old boy. It was an actual date where time flew by and I was with someone who interested me. Still, something was missing (as always it seems). He was cute, a little balding but whatever I could look past it. I was trying to picture us rolling in the hay but I just couldn't. I chalked it up to nerves and ignored it.
I realized after the first two hours of our conversation that we were in different places in our lives. He was settling down, getting his own place in Oakland and very secure in his job. I live with The Professor and B-Money in a dining room, hating my job and going on a dating adventures - not exactly wifey material. Plus, I wasn't too keen on dating someone on the other side of the bay. Still, it seemed we both couldn't ignore our verbal connection and we agreed on a second date before the first was over. He gave me a hug as I dropped him off at BART and I did something I've never done before - I sent the "I had a great time" text. I was optimistic until my gut decided to chime back in and point out what I had been trying to ignore - I wasn't physically attracted to him and not ready to settle down. I immediately consulted The Professor via text the whole train ride home about something I try to ignore as much as possible - morality. Should I go out with someone who I can't picture myself with just because I like their personality? I just wasn't sure and when he called a couple days later, I let it go to voicemail because I still wasn't sure.
Lesson learned: You MUST be absolutely clear with yourself on what exactly you are ready for. I wasn't honest with myself, thinking that I'd be ready if the "right" one comes along but that's bullshit. I'm not ready for a real relationship this second and that's a hard pill to swallow.
The accidental IT guy was very sweet, sarcastic and cute. A little older than I am and very secure in himself. I enjoyed our email contact immediately. He seemed genuine and actually read my profile (and responded to emails in good time). I was actually excited to go out with him. I suggested a walk along the Embarcadero.
Romantic, ain't it?
I've seen this guy in Oakland...
Even though San Francisco can be beautiful in February, it can also be windy as hell and cold. We learned that the hard way as the soon realized the wind was having none of our walking idea. We quickly ducked into Pier 23 Cafe to grab a drink. The conversation flowed effortlessly and we talked intellectually which is something I don't get to do very often. For once, I wasn't acting like a party-wary college kid or a 15 year-old boy. It was an actual date where time flew by and I was with someone who interested me. Still, something was missing (as always it seems). He was cute, a little balding but whatever I could look past it. I was trying to picture us rolling in the hay but I just couldn't. I chalked it up to nerves and ignored it.
I realized after the first two hours of our conversation that we were in different places in our lives. He was settling down, getting his own place in Oakland and very secure in his job. I live with The Professor and B-Money in a dining room, hating my job and going on a dating adventures - not exactly wifey material. Plus, I wasn't too keen on dating someone on the other side of the bay. Still, it seemed we both couldn't ignore our verbal connection and we agreed on a second date before the first was over. He gave me a hug as I dropped him off at BART and I did something I've never done before - I sent the "I had a great time" text. I was optimistic until my gut decided to chime back in and point out what I had been trying to ignore - I wasn't physically attracted to him and not ready to settle down. I immediately consulted The Professor via text the whole train ride home about something I try to ignore as much as possible - morality. Should I go out with someone who I can't picture myself with just because I like their personality? I just wasn't sure and when he called a couple days later, I let it go to voicemail because I still wasn't sure.
Lesson learned: You MUST be absolutely clear with yourself on what exactly you are ready for. I wasn't honest with myself, thinking that I'd be ready if the "right" one comes along but that's bullshit. I'm not ready for a real relationship this second and that's a hard pill to swallow.
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