*Warning: if any member of my direct family is reading this, turn away now. You can't un-read this (Dad).*
After going back and forth for a couple days (and enjoying wine with an old friend who I am so glad to have back), I decided to go on a second date with the Accidential IT guy. I tried to ignore the fact that I wasn't really attracted to him physically because I liked his personality so much. I also did something I hadn't done in years and never thought I'd do again - I met him in Oakland. Those who know me know that I loathe the East Bay but because I believe in fair-is-fair, I went to his part of town since he came to mine.
We enjoyed(?) an extremely overpriced, douchy dinner at Plum (not his fault, he heard good things and we both thought it sucked). As with date number one we had great conversation chemistry (even if I talked a little too much), similar taste in wine (bonus) and an aversion to pretentiousness. Still, I knew something was off.
After dinner we went an awkward walk around a surprisingly beautiful section of Oakland. He was asking the me the appropriate probing questions: do you like animals? What do you think of children? How close are you to you family? Which I immediately answered truthfully: I don't like animals; I love kids but don't want to even think about them until my 30's; my family and I only get along when we're heckling each other. The truth hurts and I think he winced a little realizing we were no longer on the same page. Feeling a need to bail and feeling very tired, we walked back to BART.
Ok, I'm all for feminism but some things are just standard. Guys - take the fucking lead! Go in for the kiss, make the move. If she's out with you and smiling, just do it. I'm one of the mostmasculine assertive women I know so when a guy isn't making a move or is somewhat assertive, I figure it out and immediately lose respect for them. I shouldn't have to be the "guy" in any relationship. I understand nerves but dammit, grow a pair! Needless to say, as we're waiting for me to get on BART I get sick of him staring at my mouth and I go in for the kiss.
The kiss was...terrible. Just fucking awful and the sad thing is it wasn't all his fault. I place huge importance on the way men smell (seriously, I threw one unsuspecting boyfriend onto a table simply because his neck smelled intoxicating. It's like crack bitches!) Not shitty cologne or random pot residue smell (it IS California after all) but the natural pheromones of someone when you are very close to them and unfortunately, I didn't like how this guy smelled. I think that sent a chemical notice to my brain to Abort! Abort! and thus, make the kiss as awful as possible as to not encourage further advancement. Before you think I'm a nut, there are medical studies (and ahem, personal studies) that back this up. So even though we vaguely set up a third date, I knew that I should have listened to my gut and walked away.
In the battle of chemistry v. stability, chemistry wins. I'm just not the kind of woman who can have a relationship without physical attraction because if I don't feel the need to rip a guy's clothes offin an alley somewhere on a kitchen table for the hell of it, there's no need to pretend that we can spend a lifetime together. The moral of the story kids: Sex/Physical Attraction - yes, it really is THAT important.
After going back and forth for a couple days (and enjoying wine with an old friend who I am so glad to have back), I decided to go on a second date with the Accidential IT guy. I tried to ignore the fact that I wasn't really attracted to him physically because I liked his personality so much. I also did something I hadn't done in years and never thought I'd do again - I met him in Oakland. Those who know me know that I loathe the East Bay but because I believe in fair-is-fair, I went to his part of town since he came to mine.
We enjoyed(?) an extremely overpriced, douchy dinner at Plum (not his fault, he heard good things and we both thought it sucked). As with date number one we had great conversation chemistry (even if I talked a little too much), similar taste in wine (bonus) and an aversion to pretentiousness. Still, I knew something was off.
After dinner we went an awkward walk around a surprisingly beautiful section of Oakland. He was asking the me the appropriate probing questions: do you like animals? What do you think of children? How close are you to you family? Which I immediately answered truthfully: I don't like animals; I love kids but don't want to even think about them until my 30's; my family and I only get along when we're heckling each other. The truth hurts and I think he winced a little realizing we were no longer on the same page. Feeling a need to bail and feeling very tired, we walked back to BART.
Ok, I'm all for feminism but some things are just standard. Guys - take the fucking lead! Go in for the kiss, make the move. If she's out with you and smiling, just do it. I'm one of the most
The kiss was...terrible. Just fucking awful and the sad thing is it wasn't all his fault. I place huge importance on the way men smell (seriously, I threw one unsuspecting boyfriend onto a table simply because his neck smelled intoxicating. It's like crack bitches!) Not shitty cologne or random pot residue smell (it IS California after all) but the natural pheromones of someone when you are very close to them and unfortunately, I didn't like how this guy smelled. I think that sent a chemical notice to my brain to Abort! Abort! and thus, make the kiss as awful as possible as to not encourage further advancement. Before you think I'm a nut, there are medical studies (and ahem, personal studies) that back this up. So even though we vaguely set up a third date, I knew that I should have listened to my gut and walked away.
In the battle of chemistry v. stability, chemistry wins. I'm just not the kind of woman who can have a relationship without physical attraction because if I don't feel the need to rip a guy's clothes off
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