It's been three months since I started this project and I feel I can share the following points in a very blunt way. Now gang, here is my quick and dirty assessment thus far:
- Online Dating is not as creepy as some people make it out to be. As long as you have some common sense about who you are interacting with and trust your gut, you have the chance to meet some pretty interesting people. I've never laughed harder or felt more awkward than I have since starting this project.
Obviously tell this guy you have explosive diarrhea...
- A picture is worth a thousand words. If your pictures suck, you won't get in the front door.
- Most people are looking for love - they just might need to screw their way through the website to find it.
- Be very clear about what you want out of dating. Do you want a relationship? Are you looking to play the field? Be brutally honest! It's the best thing you can do for yourself as a woman (if you're a guy, you're allowed to be more covert in your desire for sex. In fact, I would suggest it). If you can't say what you want, you can't be choosy!
- It's true - this is much easier for women than it is for men. For all the progress we've made in equality of the sexes, gender rules in dating haven't changed that much. Men are still expected to plan and pay for dates. I'm on a one-woman quest to try to break this. Still, class is classy and so few people demonstrate it these days. The guys that do always stand out (like my Gangster - that's for you Home Skillit)!
- There are varying levels of "fucked up in the head" that we ALL possess. If you refuse to admit and work with this fact you will fail epically.
- Change your profile around once a month. Rotate pictures, tell new stories. What the dating sites don't tell you is that every time you make any change to your profile, you are automatically sent to the top of the list. You become a "new user" and are some of the first profiles looked at.
I've spent a lot of money, went to bars and restaurants in neighborhoods I normally would never step foot into (hell, I went to fucking Oakland for this project)! I've heard crazy travel stories, eaten food that may or may not have been cat and have been insulted by socially awkward freaks.
I've actually eaten something like this...I didn't ask what it was
There have also been sweet, funny, smart men who would make amazing boyfriends for other women and men so fucked up that it'll take years of therapy (and a 19 year-old girlfriend) to fix their issues. I've worked on my prejudices against people with money, hipsters (albeit very, very slowly) and the politically inclined - I still have a long way to go. I've made friends and (somehow) have ended up giving a lot of advice to people who have read the blog. So after three months I have two things to say:
- If you're lonely or want to learn more about yourself and people, try your own awkwardly dating project. I feel like a better person for doing this (even though I write incredibly snarky stuff lambasting various guys, I'm actually kind of a nice person in real life. Don't tell anyone!)
- Thank you all for reading, laughing and sharing my adventures. The feedback is so awesome and you guys are the best.
On that note, sometimes people come into your life that you would be a fool to pass up. I am not a fool (most of the time). Instead, I am "Hooked on a Feeling..." and running with it. So forgive me in putting the blog on hiatus until I can figure this all out. I will be back in some form....
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