I feel like this is a public service announcement - seriously, I should get a prize or something. After a rather…weird interesting date over the weekend, I stayed in last night with my favorite roomie Tom (ok, he's my only roomie - we miss you Jesse!) and tore through profiles - men and women for research purposes. I have my pet peeves of course, but most of this advice I have given to other people with positive results.
1. This is a biggie and it goes for everyone. DO NOT post pictures of you with any member of the opposite sex. I don't care that she's your sister or your best guy friend who happens to gay, doesn't matter. As a guy, you're showing that you are potentially a player. As a woman you're showing, "look, men like me...see...see...love me!!!" Most people are insecure and if your friend in the pic is better looking than the person looking at your profile they're not gonna even consider talking to you.
** Side note for men - there is never any reason for you to post a picture with your mom. You might
think it shows you're sweet - all women see is that you're a momma's boy. And pay attention if he's
close to his mom ladies - you will never be the number one woman in his life. Most women don't get
along with their mother-in-law and this is a big reason why.
2. Quality and placement of pictures. Delete any pictures of you doing, being or having the following:
** Side note for men (and this is a real problem), if all your pics show you travelling around the world it shows many women that; a) you don't have a job or only work part time; b) you're too busy exploring to consider having a relationship right now; and c) you don't have any real hobbies or interests. I'm all for traveling, seriously I am but at least show that you do something normal (playing with your dog, building a robot, juggling), whatever shows that you're a regular person.
** Side note for women. Ladies - post only pictures of you doing things you LIKE to do. It confuses the hell out of guys when you put in your profile that you like hiking and you get pissed off or surprised that one of the dates he planned is for you to go hiking together. Be who you are and not who you think he wants you to be.
And stop posting pictures of you at Machu Pichu ladies! Yay, you went there in college and it shows you're "adventurous", but not if every other woman has the same picture! Have a friend, roommate or random stranger get action shots of you. Don't worry, you don't have to tell anyone what they're for if you're not comfortable doing so. Just say you want to build a collage or something.
3. Destroy the Excess verbiage: Just because they give you questions to answer for your profile doesn't mean you have to answer. Your profile should be read in under 90 seconds. Let me repeat myself - Direct. Clear. Concise. Just a quick snapshot of the things you like doing most - leave the stories for the date. Inject a little humor if you can but show you're serious too. Surprisingly, the longest, most nonsense profiles often belong to men. This shows that you can't organize your thoughts or you really have no idea what you want (thank you Tom for the analysis).
4. The two exclamation point rule...is exactly what it sounds like. Use sparingly in your profile...ditto for the word "awesome".
5. Know exactly what you want out of dating. If you're here to find a hook-up, that's fine - just make it clear. If you're looking for a husband, tone it down a little in your profile (no one likes desperation) and if a guy tells you he doesn't want to get married, move on - you aren't going to change his mind willingly. Don't be afraid to be honest, you'd be settling otherwise. The content in your profile (and pictures) determines who contacts you. I couldn't understand why introverted geeks were contacting me until I realized my hilarious profile made me sound like I was 16. Oops. Be real gang, even if you think you're boring - it's ok, most people are.
6. This last one is for women: just send him a message! What you say, men have to come to you? Wow, what an antiquated concept - remember, we can…like…vote now and stuff. If you don't like who's coming to you, go to them. If you're an independent woman who isn't afraid to take care of herself, why would you be intimidated to message the cute guy who also likes Seinfeld and the Wu-tang Clan?
Fix these and I guarantee you have a bump in your visibility. And if not, you can pelt me with tomatoes - I like those now. Happy Hunting gang!
1. This is a biggie and it goes for everyone. DO NOT post pictures of you with any member of the opposite sex. I don't care that she's your sister or your best guy friend who happens to gay, doesn't matter. As a guy, you're showing that you are potentially a player. As a woman you're showing, "look, men like me...see...see...love me!!!" Most people are insecure and if your friend in the pic is better looking than the person looking at your profile they're not gonna even consider talking to you.
** Side note for men - there is never any reason for you to post a picture with your mom. You might
think it shows you're sweet - all women see is that you're a momma's boy. And pay attention if he's
close to his mom ladies - you will never be the number one woman in his life. Most women don't get
along with their mother-in-law and this is a big reason why.
ewwwwwww….
2. Quality and placement of pictures. Delete any pictures of you doing, being or having the following:
- Selfies (what are you, 12?)
- Pictures of you using the bathroom mirror taking your picture (do you not have friends?)
- Completely wasted and/or holding a Bud Light
- With kids (the immediate assumption is that those kids are yours. If that's true then thanks - you saved me the time of not looking at you further. If it's not...well you're losing out). This is a niche market - buyer beware. However, I must admit - sometimes (rarely) it does work out.
- At work - I've seen more generic gray printers this time around...and it shows you work all the time.
- Any professionally done picture. Wow, your friend is a photographer that's cool - you're still trying too hard and a good photographer (like this one) can make anyone look good.
** Side note for men (and this is a real problem), if all your pics show you travelling around the world it shows many women that; a) you don't have a job or only work part time; b) you're too busy exploring to consider having a relationship right now; and c) you don't have any real hobbies or interests. I'm all for traveling, seriously I am but at least show that you do something normal (playing with your dog, building a robot, juggling), whatever shows that you're a regular person.
** Side note for women. Ladies - post only pictures of you doing things you LIKE to do. It confuses the hell out of guys when you put in your profile that you like hiking and you get pissed off or surprised that one of the dates he planned is for you to go hiking together. Be who you are and not who you think he wants you to be.
And stop posting pictures of you at Machu Pichu ladies! Yay, you went there in college and it shows you're "adventurous", but not if every other woman has the same picture! Have a friend, roommate or random stranger get action shots of you. Don't worry, you don't have to tell anyone what they're for if you're not comfortable doing so. Just say you want to build a collage or something.
3. Destroy the Excess verbiage: Just because they give you questions to answer for your profile doesn't mean you have to answer. Your profile should be read in under 90 seconds. Let me repeat myself - Direct. Clear. Concise. Just a quick snapshot of the things you like doing most - leave the stories for the date. Inject a little humor if you can but show you're serious too. Surprisingly, the longest, most nonsense profiles often belong to men. This shows that you can't organize your thoughts or you really have no idea what you want (thank you Tom for the analysis).
4. The two exclamation point rule...is exactly what it sounds like. Use sparingly in your profile...ditto for the word "awesome".
Bullshit!!
6. This last one is for women: just send him a message! What you say, men have to come to you? Wow, what an antiquated concept - remember, we can…like…vote now and stuff. If you don't like who's coming to you, go to them. If you're an independent woman who isn't afraid to take care of herself, why would you be intimidated to message the cute guy who also likes Seinfeld and the Wu-tang Clan?
Fix these and I guarantee you have a bump in your visibility. And if not, you can pelt me with tomatoes - I like those now. Happy Hunting gang!
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