Radical....I Say Radical!

Me rereading this blog in 2017: "I do NOT speak with a semi-colon..."

The Canadian after reading my old blog: "I was about to tease you for having the same mannerisms after 5 years".

Me still rereading this blog: "Dude, I used to be really fucking funny..."

      

Charlie, texting from work: "Yeah, yeah you were..."

Most changes in life come from inciting incidents - a layoff, a death, having your psychotic Uncle burn your ship and take you hostage to torture and/or kill.

Oh, too soon??

Mine happened to be showing the Canadian that I once had something to say, that I was hip AND with-it...whatever IT was (ok ok, I'll slow down with The Simpsons references). Honestly, I thought I shut this down so the joke was on me as I sat reading on a quiet Friday at work a year plus of my life in my late 20's and laughing my ass off while asking myself seriously why in the hell I quit writing? For years my friends would casually ask me and I'd always say the same thing - I ran out of things to say and that was that...or was it? There was also the age bias that I fall into - it simply didn't seem funny to hear a woman in her 30's talk about dating...it seemed sad. Until I realized that I, the Commander, am a fucking hypocrite. 

I know - everyone else is shocked too...

I'm constantly telling people age is becoming irrelevant when it comes to life milestones - it's not 1987 anymore and if anyone tells you to list an objective on your resume you run like hell and never listen to a word they say and......oh sorry, rant there. Where was I? Oh yeah, as the All-Knowing Claudius pointed out, "how is a woman dating in her 30's sad when most people you know of all age ranges are out there suffering the same fate." Doh! 

Oh, a guym......

The All-Knowing was right - I didn't run out of things to say, I ran out of ways to make the story about me. Luckily, it doesn't entirely have to be anymore. There are TONS of things to share and bitch analyze about the current state of dating. A new cast of characters and some old favorites (Charlie, B-Money, Gangster Tom - I'm looking at you!) along with open submissions, yes - if you have a hilarious or hilariously pathetic dating story, drop me a line. I'm redesigning the blog and getting my voice back because simply, I can't make this shit up. 

No Really, Where the Fuck You Been?

Oh that. I was kinda hoping you'd forget about the part where I was gone for three years. Well, it all started when my boat crashed on the deserted island.... Nah, I actually started taking dating and my health seriously and surprise! fucked up on both. As it says on Bukowski's grave, "Don't Try"- the drunken bastard may have had a point. So I took a step back from both and focused on my friends, traveling, my job and working through a life-altering diagnosis....and watching too. much. tv. I had no creative outlet anymore and have been, frankly, really fucking bored with life. Then I went to Europe and realized that snark, attraction and humor have no age range. That sometimes the funniest people are the quiet ones, most people in first-world countries are the same and everyone hates the process of dating. Most people have the same gripes, the same deal-breakers, and everyone has at least one hilarious story. Even though everyone has a voice, not everyone is interesting. I promise I'll do my best to be interesting or funny or irreverent - one of the three at least. 

So if you're an old fan - welcome back and if you're a newbie, welcome...I'm going to say fuck - A. Lot. :)